Sunday 19 July 2009
Saturday 18 July 2009
embroiled in a blog embargo
My computer full on broke. After nearly 3 years of loyal service(barring a period during Winter 07 where it was on loan at Featherstone Rovers)we have parted company.
THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH. The appearance of this screen every time the machine starts up has led me to believe that the beautiful dream is over. The only real solace being the above title. Though having said that the more i look at it and say it, the more it sounds like trying to take a dump on a humid canal boat. Maybe it's because blog sounds a bit like 'bog'. And also 'log' as well come to think of it, though thats a bit of tasteless image. Though the whole idea of having a shit on a sweaty ship is an entirely tasteless image. But you don't really taste images anyway, you look at them. Look, observe, analyse. You could lick photos i guess, that could be a thing. Maybe taste a bit chemically. I wouldn't know, i've never done it. I never been on a plane either, but then again going on a plane is an all together more rational human experience. Talking of human experience I went to the bank today to consolidate my accounts and after an hour and twenty minutes i left with three extraneous new ones. How about them England eh? Cricket etc. blah blah blah. I'm going to label this post with scooters, holidays AND autumn. And there ain't nothing you can do about it.
Yeah my laptop died so I may never make another meaningful post ever again.
THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH. The appearance of this screen every time the machine starts up has led me to believe that the beautiful dream is over. The only real solace being the above title. Though having said that the more i look at it and say it, the more it sounds like trying to take a dump on a humid canal boat. Maybe it's because blog sounds a bit like 'bog'. And also 'log' as well come to think of it, though thats a bit of tasteless image. Though the whole idea of having a shit on a sweaty ship is an entirely tasteless image. But you don't really taste images anyway, you look at them. Look, observe, analyse. You could lick photos i guess, that could be a thing. Maybe taste a bit chemically. I wouldn't know, i've never done it. I never been on a plane either, but then again going on a plane is an all together more rational human experience. Talking of human experience I went to the bank today to consolidate my accounts and after an hour and twenty minutes i left with three extraneous new ones. How about them England eh? Cricket etc. blah blah blah. I'm going to label this post with scooters, holidays AND autumn. And there ain't nothing you can do about it.
Yeah my laptop died so I may never make another meaningful post ever again.
Sunday 12 July 2009
Sunday 5 July 2009
ominous
A nonsense poem set to some ominous Cabaret Voltaire-esque noises. It's not a video so don't watch it waiting for something to happen because nothing will. I just don't know any other way of just uploading audio.
Ham-fisted Andersen
1. A poorly cobbled together fairy tale or 2. A clumsily written piece that does not meet the initial vision of the author. e.g "I'm not proud of this work. It's a bit of a Ham-fisted Andersen"
This post could be described as a Ham-fisted Andersen.
This post could be described as a Ham-fisted Andersen.
Monday 29 June 2009
the legs of fifty spiders
Here is the video for a song. It was done in one day whist i was hungover. And it probably shows. None of it makes sense.
The first cut had a caption reading "I'm bored now" for the last minute and a half. Enthusiasm waned as the technology gradually failed. I'm surprised I had the patience.
But here it is all the same. The in-demand stickman slamming those skins is the devilishly handsome Snapper&Prawn. For his input I am eternally grapefruit.
Monday 22 June 2009
The Catholic Church
Now there is a lot I could say about the Catholic Church. I’ve been in and around it my whole life. It’s done some good things and it’s done some bad things.
It’s generally considered Jesus was an alright chap and had some sound ideas. Respect your parents, don’t steal or kill, pay your taxes and don’t trust fig trees – we could do well to heed his advice.
But then this whole omnipresent God bit comes into play and that throws me right off. I can’t put a face to the name for a start. At least with Jesus I know where I am. He’s the bearded fella in the dress and sandals. Catholics are a big fan of God, and sometimes I struggle to see why. In a rare and recent Church visit the following passage was sung:
The Lord says”You are my friends,
If you do what I command you”
Now that doesn’t sound like a solid basis for a friendship to me. It sounds like emotional blackmail. I’m guessing God doesn’t have that many close mates, as an ultimatum doesn’t seem like a great way of forming a lasting bond with someone. He comes off sounding like the desperate friend-less psychotic school bully, maintaining solidarity with constant threat and take, take, take. If I was the bullied little catholic I would start re-evaluating the friendship:
“Hang on; I’m down a year’s supply of Skips and an inch-thick pile of football stickers. And what’s he given me? A black eye and the promise of everlasting life in heaven!”
I know that this ‘do what I command you’ statement is probably a poor paraphrase of a much nicer sentiment, but the fact that there were hundreds of people happily singing this refrain many times in a big holy church was mind-boggling to me. If this is what your church really believes I’d get out of there fast. And stop being friends with big nasty God and reclaim your football stickers.
“Oh he’s got Skips dust all over my Ole Gunnar Solskjaer…”
It’s generally considered Jesus was an alright chap and had some sound ideas. Respect your parents, don’t steal or kill, pay your taxes and don’t trust fig trees – we could do well to heed his advice.
But then this whole omnipresent God bit comes into play and that throws me right off. I can’t put a face to the name for a start. At least with Jesus I know where I am. He’s the bearded fella in the dress and sandals. Catholics are a big fan of God, and sometimes I struggle to see why. In a rare and recent Church visit the following passage was sung:
The Lord says”You are my friends,
If you do what I command you”
Now that doesn’t sound like a solid basis for a friendship to me. It sounds like emotional blackmail. I’m guessing God doesn’t have that many close mates, as an ultimatum doesn’t seem like a great way of forming a lasting bond with someone. He comes off sounding like the desperate friend-less psychotic school bully, maintaining solidarity with constant threat and take, take, take. If I was the bullied little catholic I would start re-evaluating the friendship:
“Hang on; I’m down a year’s supply of Skips and an inch-thick pile of football stickers. And what’s he given me? A black eye and the promise of everlasting life in heaven!”
I know that this ‘do what I command you’ statement is probably a poor paraphrase of a much nicer sentiment, but the fact that there were hundreds of people happily singing this refrain many times in a big holy church was mind-boggling to me. If this is what your church really believes I’d get out of there fast. And stop being friends with big nasty God and reclaim your football stickers.
“Oh he’s got Skips dust all over my Ole Gunnar Solskjaer…”
Sunday 21 June 2009
a caveman in the rain
here is a picture of a caveman in the rain.
it's nowhere near as sexy as it sounds.
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