The Catholic Church

Now there is a lot I could say about the Catholic Church. I’ve been in and around it my whole life. It’s done some good things and it’s done some bad things.
It’s generally considered Jesus was an alright chap and had some sound ideas. Respect your parents, don’t steal or kill, pay your taxes and don’t trust fig trees – we could do well to heed his advice.
But then this whole omnipresent God bit comes into play and that throws me right off. I can’t put a face to the name for a start. At least with Jesus I know where I am. He’s the bearded fella in the dress and sandals. Catholics are a big fan of God, and sometimes I struggle to see why. In a rare and recent Church visit the following passage was sung:

The Lord says”You are my friends,
If you do what I command you”

Now that doesn’t sound like a solid basis for a friendship to me. It sounds like emotional blackmail. I’m guessing God doesn’t have that many close mates, as an ultimatum doesn’t seem like a great way of forming a lasting bond with someone. He comes off sounding like the desperate friend-less psychotic school bully, maintaining solidarity with constant threat and take, take, take. If I was the bullied little catholic I would start re-evaluating the friendship:

“Hang on; I’m down a year’s supply of Skips and an inch-thick pile of football stickers. And what’s he given me? A black eye and the promise of everlasting life in heaven!”

I know that this ‘do what I command you’ statement is probably a poor paraphrase of a much nicer sentiment, but the fact that there were hundreds of people happily singing this refrain many times in a big holy church was mind-boggling to me. If this is what your church really believes I’d get out of there fast. And stop being friends with big nasty God and reclaim your football stickers.

“Oh he’s got Skips dust all over my Ole Gunnar Solskjaer…”