Welcome to the places of my life

I have been to Portsmouth once and even Dewsbury for a game. And actual Bury, as opposed to the St.Edmonds variety, I've been to twice - for very different reasons each time. Been to Minehead too, once upon an ATP. Bridlington for crab fishing. Been to Scarborough more times than was really necessary. Keswick - been there. Nottingham to see the cricket. Leeds to go to The Royal Armouries. York to go to Jorvik. Willenhall/Wolverhampton/Walsall, that whole West Midlands 'W' conurbation - got that covered. And I've been to Leigh briefly in 1998 and Warrington for an evening in 2006. Been to Liverpool a fair bit, and while we are there I've been to Birkenhead too. And of course this is all to say nothing of the many hours whiled away in far flung Burnley. While we're on Bs, I went to Barnsley for a birthday 'party'. Been to Dover to catch a ferry. Definitely at least driven through Halifax. I've even been to Hull, but not to go to The Deep. Saw a comedian in Lincoln. Caught a train in Derby. Been to Luton airport to board a plane. I almost definitely got out the car to stretch my legs once in Bristol, so that counts too. And who can forget the motorway services at Watford Gap. I certainly can't. I went to Oxford to see a man become a priest and saw a man get killed in Huddersfield And still all this is to say nothing of the woeful time in Salford or that time at Andy's mum's house in Oldham or that shameful evening in Cheadle Hulme. Weekends spent at Flamborough Head and Whitby with scouts. Went to that London too once but it was of limited interest. Got taken to Wales as a baby and came back a baby still. I went to Alton Towers via Uttoxeter. Urgh...flashbacks of Wigan - I spent week there one night. Eddie took me to a record shop in Bolton and my parents took me to see Sooty in Rotherham. I did a guitar exam in Doncaster and played the baritone horn in Leicester and Grantham. I went to Cleethorpes once in 2004, Stinchcombe once in 2013 and Newquay thrice in 2012. God, I've even been to Stockport (to do some filming). My dad chased an escaped rabbit round a garden in Bicester. I definitely went to a muddy Littleborough to see my brother play rugby. I remember rain, museums and (mostly) caravans in Skipton. And all this ALL THIS is to ignore Grindleford, Bakewell, Hope and Great Longstone. And the places I played cricket like Clowne and Bawtry. Matlock has a small zoo of which I have fuzzy dream-like memories. Linton had a lovely village green and my cousins caught fish with their bare hands in the river. I went to the cathedral at Ripon whilst staying at cottage in Pateley Bridge. I cannot recommend Bodmin but I''ve got a lot of love for Padstow. And I have absolutley definitely been taken to Walsingham on a pilgrimage. But I have NEVER been to Newcastle.